Atari VCS Ad #14: Apologize
Posted June 5, 2019 by Ric Pryor
With the number of dissatisfied VCS customers rising, it might be time for Atari to turn to that time-tested tool of universal appeasement: the Open Letter Apology. Knowing them, they wouldn't even be able to do that right.
But Does It Play Pong?
Posted June 4, 2019 by Ric Pryor
Atari CEO Fred Chesnais appeared on Fox News yesterday, and he brought a non-working VCS prototype with him (because that's the only kind there is).
If watching Fox News makes you feel icky inside (I know it makes me feel icky), here's the full transcript of the interview:
Fox: Atari, the company that made Pong, has a new console coming out. Atari CEO Fred Cheese-Nays is here to talk about it. Am I saying that right?
Fred: No, actually, it's--.
Fox: Is this the new console?
Fred: Yes, this is the first prototype of the brand new--
Fox: If I get one of these can I play Pong?
Fred: Yes, but it's not just old games, it--
Fox: Can it play Space Invaders?
Fred: Yes, in addition to new titles--
Fox: What about Pac-Man? Can it play Pac-Man?
Fred: Pac-Man is not Atari.
Fox: Can. It. Play. Pac. Man?
Fred: Yes, it can play Pac-Man, plus lots of new--
Fox: Can it play Pong?
Fred: You already asked about Pong.
Fox: I want one so I can play Pong.
Fred: It also plays new--
Fox: Does it do anything besides play Pong?
Fred: I've been trying to tell you. It will play new games as well as allow you to use it as a computer. We will be showing it next week at E3. Well, not at E3. We don't have a booth there. But we have reserved a space in the supply closet of the hotel across the street from E3 and will be showing the console there.
Fox: Well that sounds very exciting.
Fred: Yes, we're very excited about--
Fox: Can I just plug it in and play or do I need my grandkids to hook this thing up?
Fred: Oh, no. It is very easy--
Fox: Hang on, Fred, I'm not done making jokes about how clueless I am about tech stuff. I had to call tech support to come plug in my toaster. Will there be tech support available?
Fred: Yes, we will have--
Fox: I'm not going to have to remember a bunch of passwords, am I? I can't remember a bunch of passwords. I can't even remember all of my grandkids' names.
Fred: No, no, you will not--
Fox: I can't wait to get one of these and play Pong.
Fred: It does more than play Pong. It's an all-in-one--
Fox: Sorry, Fred, I'm going to have to cut you off there, as that's all the time we have this morning. Fred Cheese-Nays, Atari CEO, thank you very much for joining me. After the break, we pretend everything Sarah Huckabee Sanders said at this morning's press conference isn't an obvious lie.
File Under: AtariboxAtari VCS Ad #13: Mask
Posted June 3, 2019 by Ric Pryor
Atari - the reanimated corpse of the video game company you loved as a kid.
Atari VCS Ad #12: Meatloaf
Posted May 31, 2019 by Ric Pryor
Atari has been very active on social media claiming June will be a big month. I'm sure it will be. Given their history, probably not for Atari, but definitely for someone.
Atari in the Media: In Search Of...
Posted May 30, 2019 by Ric Pryor
In Search Of... tackled mysterious and elusive subjects ranging from bigfoot to ghosts to UFOs, but never anything as mysterious and elusive as the Ataribox.
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